be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
false alarm. still invincible.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
What a dumb baby whore.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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