Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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