yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
