If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
