i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
