We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize