There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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