I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
