I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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