Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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