I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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