best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Randomize
