Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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