is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize