my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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