so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
