I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
