I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
