I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
