My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
ttyl tear gas
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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