I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
