I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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