Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
