I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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