I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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