That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
