They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
