I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
wat bout pragnant strippers??
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
