I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize
