Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize