you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
