kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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