oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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