I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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