i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
His hands were made for my vagina.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
