dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
