i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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