he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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