weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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