i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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