Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize