Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
