With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
