I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
