rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
