you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
