well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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