I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
