I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
