I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
If I die, sorry about rent.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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