Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
