In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize