My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize
