It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize