K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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