Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Randomize
