rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
