I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
