kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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